Run
by Starcee138
Summary: Post '07. Nicole figured running away wouldn't be easy, but she hadn't expected it to go quite like that...
1. Away

**Run**

Starcee138

Note: This story used to be called 'Runaway'. It underwent serious changes and I figured I might as well change the title since the content was altered. For any old readers (if I have any), it's been almost a year since I started this and no matter how much I edited and changed it I just wasn't satisfied. Apparently I suck at writing in first person. I'm much happier with this and hopefully you will be too.

Enough blathering from me. Enjoy :)

* * *

_Oh God, I can't do this. This is such a bad idea, what the hell was I thinking?_

Nicole's hand twitched and the strap to the duffle bag slipped between her fingers. The stuffed item fell to the floor with a muffled thump and even though the noise was barely audible her heart pumped harder at the thought of getting discovered. With a low moan she sank to sit on the floor and leaned up against her bed.

_It's not too late to lie down and just go to sleep, _she reminded herself. _I have school in the morning. If I don't get some rest now I'm not going to want to wake up with my alarm._

A painful pulse on the right side of her face made her arms tremble and her resolve weaken. _Can't stay here any longer. _

With shaking limbs Nicole hauled herself to her feet and grabbed her bag. Her bed looked so soft and warm and _comfortable_ that she just wanted to lie down and go to sleep before she did something she would regret once she was in her right mind. As it was, her survival instincts were kicking in and they dictated that she needed to leave, and _now_.

With carefully light feet she stepped over to her door and slowly turned the knob. A slight click echoed down the hall and she froze, listening intently. After several seconds of heart pounding silence she deemed it safe to move again. She opened the door as far as it would go without squeaking and wasted no time in worming her way through the gap. The hallway was dark -_careful, quiet, sissy's sleeping_- and so was the upcoming staircase. Nicole stopped two feet away from the first step and crouched down, wincing when her knee popped loudly.

The living room down below was caught in the constantly shifting light of the TV set to a low volume. A commercial for laundry detergent lit the room in bright white and she caught sight her father fully reclined in his beloved brown leather chair. He stirred for a moment, one hand reaching up to scratch at his chest, before falling still with a grumble and snore. Nicole's tension did not ease; if anything, it grew like a tumor, sitting thick and heavy in her chest.

For a moment she knelt there at the top of the stairs and watched the TV. The sudden changes in color and brightness sometimes hurt her eyes and sent fire rampaging down the side of her face but she was content to stay and watch. It was a nice distraction; if she concentrated hard enough she could hear the voices of the doctors as they ran around the onscreen hospital doing their thing. Undoubtedly if her father knew a medical show was on he'd have changed the channel in a heartbeat.

He had to be asleep.

_If you don't go soon, he'll wake up, _she prompted herself. Her heart seemed to pound even faster if it were possible and her mouth became bone dry as a testament to her nervousness. Indecision took hold of her mind and body until she was sure she'd be sick if she didn't do something soon; advance forward or retreat back, she needed to move.

Her father snorted and Nicole jumped in surprise. Quickly, before she lost her already wavering nerve, she lightly bounded down the carpeted stairs and slid into the entry hall. The front door was right there in front of her in all its mahogany glory. The streetlight outside cast a yellow beam of light through the small window that illuminated the space in front of her and Nicole stepped into the revealing light with a little hesitance. Her fingers found the deadbolt and unlocked it with a sharp click and her hand drifted down to rest on the doorknob.

All she had to do was turn the knob and she'd be free.

A soft whimper worked its way from her throat and her eyes began to burn. She thought of all she'd be leaving behind- her friends, her little sister, school, her home (_house, _she corrected herself absently, _not home_), the life she'd been living; all of it would be gone because _she _would be gone.

Nicole wasn't ready.

There was no time to wait for her to be.

A tear slipped down her face and it followed the puffed and swollen skin until it dipped into the cut on her cheekbone. Nicole emitted a muffled gasp of pain as the saltwater burned and her hand turned of its own volition. The door swung open on oiled hinges and hot summer air sluggishly seeped into the doorway, invading the cool interior of the house. The humidity didn't help her already shallow breathing but she stepped outside anyway and slowly pulled the door closed behind her.

Upon finding her feet planted firmly on the porch with her bag slung over her shoulder, Nicole realized she had everything she needed and to hesitate was to waste precious time. With a great lurch of her stomach she leaped from the porch and onto the sidewalk, not bothering to use the stairs as she knew the fourth and second steps creaked fairly loudly. For a moment she considered running down the street until she could no longer see her house but decided it would look too suspicious if her neighbors would happen to look out the window and see her.

Nicole glanced at the red pickup truck in the driveway and then shifted her focus to the police cruiser sitting behind it. A part of her longed to find a way to take the pickup with her but she knew better than to risk it. Everyone within a ten mile radius knew that truck was her father's pride and joy and it would be spotted long before she had the chance to get anywhere.

The police cruiser, of course, was out of the question.

She sighed softly and cut her losses. Even while her inner sanity screamed for her to go back inside Nicole put one foot in front of the other and started to walk. Her pace quickened when she reached the end of her yard and she cast a worried look over her shoulder. All of the windows were dark except for the bay window that looked into the living room. A curtain was drawn over the glass but the flashes of light from the television were still visible through the thin and dusty fabric. A burst of yellow lit the room and for a heart stopping moment Nicole thought he'd woken up. She soon realized the light was nothing more than another commercial as the yellow was too bright to belong to the lamp in the house. Her suspicions were confirmed when the yellow slipped into orange and then turned to blue.

Nicole averted her eyes from the color show and focused them on the sidewalk. It was easier to keep moving when she counted the squares in the pavement beneath her feet. One square could fit two of her strides and every driveway she passed held four. Her mind erratically counted every step she took and restarted whenever she reached twenty-five. She didn't pay attention to the landmarks around her- she did not look up when she reached the little patch of sidewalk she'd carved her initials into when she was nine even though it sat right outside the house of her old babysitter. The woman who'd watched her was older now and Nicole believed she even had kids of her own. She would never have the chance to see them grow up and possibly return the favor and babysit them whenever their mother needed to get out of the house for a little while.

Nicole choked back what might have been the beginning of a sob and continued forward.

_Plan, need a plan_. Her fingers fumbled at her pocket and she pulled out seven dollars and a handful of change. Her wallet and debit card were in her bag with a few other bills she'd found on her dresser and hastily packed. _Get to your bank and empty your account_, she coached herself. If her math skills were to be believed, she had a little over four hundred in her savings account and around two hundred in her checking. It was enough to get her away.

A light stitch was beginning to settle in her side at the quick pace but Nicole ignored it and sped up a little. It wasn't long before she left her housing edition behind and her walk had progressed to a jog. The more she thought about it the more likely it seemed that someone she knew would see her and wonder what she was up to in the middle of the night. Her high school wasn't very far away and a lot of the kids that went there lived nearby as a rule of thumb- if you ain't in the district, you ain't getting in.

Without the fear and uncertainty the night would have been a nice one. The sky was an inky blue and she could actually see a few stars twinkling in the darkness that would normally be hidden behind a layer of smog or made invisible by light pollution. The air was sticky and more than a little humid but for an early September it wasn't all that bad, especially considering how hot it had been in August. The cicadas continued to drone their never-ending song in the background and just over the din was the steady thumping of speakers turned up way too loud for their own good. A high pitched, girly laugh cut across several yards, loud enough to form a pit of worry in Nicole's stomach. She chewed on the inside of her cheek nervously.

_Oh, please tell me no one is having a party_, she thought with just a little desperation.

Nicole's good fortune had run out, it seemed. Several cars were parked along the sides of the street and a few guys were playing with a football in the middle of the roadway. People spilled out of the door and into the yard of a light green two story house coming up on her left.

She reduced her pace to a slow walk and ducked her head. Nicole watched the vaguely familiar teenagers from underneath her eyelashes and breathed a sigh of relief when they didn't pay her any attention. Most of them were paired up in separate groups of guys and girls with the occasional couple standing around smoking a cigarette and drinking out of a red solo cup. A few glances were thrown her way but Nicole kept her face turned carefully away from the light. They lost interest when it became clear she was only passing by and had no intention of partying.

Nicole tightened her grip on the handles of her bag and stared at her shoes. Hopefully none of them had recognized her or were too drunk to remember if they had-

"Nicole!" Her blood froze along with her body. "Girl, where the hell are you going? Get your ass up here and grab a drink!"

Nicole turned and spotted a tall blonde girl crossing the yard toward her. She recognized her as Jessica, a cheerleader who sometimes hung around with a few of Nicole's friends at school.

Jessica strolled up and latched onto Nicole's forearm. "I thought you were too much of an honor student to come to a party," she grinned.

"Um," she stumbled, tugging her arm lightly, "I've got somewhere I've gotta be-"

A little frown crossed the cheerleader's face, "Everyone has time for a drink. Unless you're waiting until you're 21? That's cool too, I guess. Come on, I saw Megan around here somewhere…"

_Oh God, Megan can't see me._

"No!" Nicole shouted. With a might wrench she pulled her arm free and backed away several steps down the sidewalk. Jessica's finely plucked eyebrows drew together and she scowled.

"Jesus, what the hell is wrong with you?"

One of the guys in the street snagged hold of the football and threw it too far. The brown leather oval bounced next to Nicole and her head whipped around to stare at it in surprise.

"Yo, throw it back!" he yelled. She skittered away from the ball and didn't realize her mistake until she collided with Jessica. The taller girl started to grunt in annoyance but the noise quickly changed to a gasp of shock. Slender fingers slipped underneath Nicole's jaw and turned her face into the light where the angry cut and dark bruising was more visible.

"Oh my God, what happened?" Jessica whispered.

Eyes wide with terror, Nicole ripped herself out of the gentle grasp and bolted down the sidewalk.

She paid no mind to Jessica as she shouted for her to come back. Running was made awkward by the heavy duffle bag but Nicole didn't stop or slow down. Her heart pounded painfully against her ribs and her breath came in sharp gasps that stung her throat. Internally she cursed herself and everything around her; Jessica didn't know how to keep her mouth shut- she'd tell all her friends what she'd seen and eventually it would reach the people Nicole knew and everyone would know why she was gone, and the mere thought was simply _unbearable._

Fearing she was being followed, Nicole ducked into a 24 hour convenience store and wound her way through a few isles to get out of sight. The middle aged woman working the counter only briefly looked up at her before returning her attention to the _People _magazine she was flipping through.

The store was quite except for the faint buzzing of florescent lights. Slowly her erratic heartbeat returned to normal and Nicole was able to catch her breath. The shocked and appalled look on Jessica's face continued to pass through her mind like the scene out of a horror movie. _God, _she'd look almost as scared as Nicole herself.

With a low whine she leaned forward and rested her forehead against the edge of a cold metal shelf. A single bead of sweat slid down her temple and followed the curve of her chin; she wiped it away with a small noise of disgust and stood upright.

A bright red cardboard sign taped to the shelf she'd been leaning against caught her attention. It advertised 50% off the leather journals lined up neatly below (_"For a limited time only!"_). Nicole reached out and ran her fingers down the smooth cover of the dark brown book and slowly picked it up. It was about an inch and a half thick and a sticker on the front showed the crossed out price of $22.50. Just below it, highlighted in bright yellow, was $11.25.

Gripped by a strange impulse, Nicole took the book up to the counter. The woman scanned it and her eyes flicked up to study the mark of impact on Nicole's cheek for a moment. "$12.04," she said. Nicole dug around in her bag for the twenty she remembered tossing in and handed the bill to the woman. "You want a bag?" she asked as she handed back the correct change.

"Um, no." she said softly.

The woman slid the book across the counter. Nicole picked it up carefully and turned to leave.

"Hun," the woman called right as she went to push open the door, "You shouldn't stay with him any longer. I don't care what a man says, if he's laying a hand on you, he don't love you."

Something deep within her throbbed with hurt. "Actually," she replied without turning, "I, um, left him tonight. He won't be hurting me anymore."

"God bless your soul, young one. Stay strong."

"Thank you," she whispered.

There was a bus stop a few blocks over. Sitting quietly on the bench, Nicole flipped through the pages on the leather bound book. The edges were soft and helped calm her jittery nerves every time a car drove by. Luck for her, not many people paid much attention to someone sitting at a bus stop in the late hours of the night.

It took the bus a little over half an hour to get there. Nicole walked up the steep metal steps and handed her fare to the driver, a portly African American with a Packers hat on his balding head.

"How far do you go?" Nicole asked.

He chuckled lightly, "How far do you want me to?"

"Could you take me to Haywood County?"

"I sure can. Have a seat."

"Thanks."

There were only five other passengers and Nicole suspected they were homeless judging by their state of dress and haggard look. A pang of loss swept through her when she realized she made six.

She turned and looked out the window. For a while the bus drove around the city and stopped at a few other places, but only two other people got on. She settled back into her seat and tried to get comfortable. The events of the day were starting to catch up with her and her adrenaline levels were beginning to fall back to normal.

With a quiet sigh Nicole closed her eyes and waited for the bus to take her away.

* * *

_Entry 1;_

_When I was twelve years old, my mom died. We knew it was coming, but not quite that soon. The doctors told us we had another two years. She passed away three months later. My dad was never the same. I guess I was a reminder of what used to be, or maybe I looked too much like her and he was angry at her for leaving him all alone with two young girls to take care of, but for whatever reason, he hit me. It became a habit after that and it never stopped. _

_People say keeping a journal is therapeutic. I wouldn't know, but it wouldn't hurt to try. I'll start with this;_

_My name is Nicole Marie Bell. I'm seventeen. On September 6th, I ran away from home._

* * *

If you've read the old version, let me know if you think this will be an improvement or if I should have just left it as it was. If you haven't, I'd love to hear your thoughts anyway :)

Posted 4/14/13


	2. Paranoid

**Run**

Starcee138

~.~

The room was entirely too silent.

The lack of sound had almost smothered Nicole when she woke up. Her mouth was thick and dry from sleep and her eyes were very reluctant to open, particularly the right one. She inhaled deeply through her nose and groaned softly, rolling over onto her back and taking the opportunity to stretch her spine. Something popped and she winced when the noise echoed throughout the empty room.

Her mouth stretched wide in a yawn and both her ears cleared themselves. The refreshing motion was quickly ruined by the hot, pulling pain that flashed through her face when her injury was stressed too far. Nicole winced and sighed quietly.

Untangling herself from the thick covers twirled around her body, Nicole rolled out of bed and padded over the rough carpet to the bathroom. The tiles were cold beneath her feet and sent shivers traveling through her body.

Like most hotel bathrooms, the light above the mirror was entirely too bright and hurt her eyes as soon as she flipped it on. The whitewashed walls weren't helping her to adjust in the slightest and she found herself squinting at her reflection until she was better able to open her eyes. When she did, she almost wished she hadn't.

It had gotten worse. The bruise had darkened to a blend of brown and purple overnight and the point over her cheekbone where her skin had torn was a violent, angry red. Nicole considered herself lucky that he hadn't hit her right in the eye but rather below it or she was sure it would have been swelled shut. She leaned forward and noticed that the area around the cut had little flakes of rusty-brown and they extended in a thin trail down the slope of her cheek. She gently scraped at the blood but gave up when it remained stubbornly dried to her face.

The rest of her face was paler than normal and she contributed that to the lack of sleep she'd received the previous night. It had been just passed three in the morning when she checked into the hotel. Her hair was greasy and tangled and she pinched a few of the dark brown strands between her fingers to examine it. After a moment she dropped it again and took a step back away from the mirror, frowning at her haggard reflection. A shower was definitely in order.

Quickly she shucked her clothes and threw them into a neat pile under the sink. It took her a moment to figure out how to work the water controls but she had the pipes singing soon enough. She waited until the water was almost scalding hot before stepping in and pulling the horribly white curtain closed behind her.

For a long time Nicole stood there and let the water beat down on her back. Her muscles slowly relaxed themselves under the spray and her eyes started to drift closed, under the influence of the wonderful water. Startled, she blinked heavily and reached for a small bottle of generic hotel shampoo, emptying the contents into her hand and smearing it in her hair. The steamy air took on the faint scent of cucumbers and Nicole breathed in the pleasant scent to help keep her awake.

She made quick work of the shower, washing herself and using a razor provided by the hotel to shave her underarms and legs. She wanted to waste more time by standing there under the hot water for another ten minutes but she'd only registered for one night and check out was at eleven and she'd already slept in well past nine.

Nicole's skin rose in little goosebumps as she stepped out of the bathroom and into the small and generically boring room that was officially hers for another forty-five minutes. Clutching the towel to cover herself, she dumped the contents of her bag out onto the unmade bed. She made quick work of dressing herself since she didn't exactly have a wardrobe of clothes to choose from, her biggest choice being whether she wanted to wear a tank top or short-sleeved shirt. Nicole ran through the motions of pulling a comb through her hair and brushing her teeth, trying to keep her mind from wandering as she shoved the rest of her stuff back into the bag.

Her eyes darted to the digital clock and read the 10:48 displayed across the black screen. A sudden desperation grabbed hold of her stomach once she realized she'd have nowhere to go once the clock hit eleven and she sank to sit on the edge of the bed.

_What am I doing? _She asked herself miserably. She'd thought if only she could get _away _things would magically get better, that somehow she'd find a place to stay, get a job, and build a life. _What kind of business would hire a high school drop out?_ Her heart clenched. Yesterday she'd been on the fast track to getting an academic honor's diploma and the next she was considered a drop out. She'd never finish high school and God knew she didn't have the money to even think about getting a college degree. Did colleges even accept students without diplomas? She didn't think so.

Right then Nicole was sure running away was the worse mistake she could have made.

_Maybe if I go back to school and explain my home situation- _Nicole abruptly cut the thought off as soon as it occurred, recognizing it as a _really bad idea_. Her father was a police officer; he _was _the law in their community. He'd get a hold of her before anything could be done and just thinking about it sent terror boiling through her body.

Her nails had unconsciously dug themselves into her palm and she pulled them out with a soft curse. Another glance at the flashing red letters of the clock told her it was time for her to go. Feeling like it was important, she swept the room one more time with her eyes as if to memorize every detail of the small room where she stayed the first night of her impromptu freedom.

Checking out was quick and uneventful. Nicole thanked the kind woman and pushed open the glass door to the second-rate hotel and narrowed her eyes as bright sunlight assaulted them. It was certainly a nice day- the sky was a cloudless blue and only a light breeze disturbed the hot air. It wasn't as humid as it had been the night before and that made it much easier for her to breathe in through her nose.

A tight knot twisted itself in Nicole's stomach and a hungry gurgle reached her ears. Absently she patted her stomach and started walking down the sidewalk. There weren't very many people out and about; the occasional mom pushing a stroller and a few joggers enjoying the weather. A woman on her cell phone walked past and shoved a bite of a homemade sandwich into her mouth and she stared longingly at the food.

_My friends are eating lunch right now_, Nicole thought. She curiously mused on whether or not they wondered why she wasn't there. Did they think she was sick? Or maybe they thought there was something wrong with Jessie and she'd stayed home to take care of her little sister.

Or maybe Jessica had told everyone what she'd seen and her friends thought she was dying in a ditch somewhere.

Her stomach roared angrily in protest as she walked straight passed a McDonald's. The prospect of food was very tempting but Nicole wanted _real _food, not the greasy and artery clogging stuff they served at chain restaurants. She didn't even want to think about the soggy French fries and wilted lettuce they served. Despite that, she couldn't deny the smells from the building were tempting.

Two streets ahead a white police cruiser pulled up to a red light on the adjacent street, his turn signal flashing in her direction. Nicole's breath hitched in her throat and fear jolted through her body, rendering her motionless. _It's just a car, just a car, just a car, just a car, justacar justacar- _Her panic spiked when the cruiser turned onto her street and her body was moving without her permission, backing away and nearly stumbling over a raised crack in the sidewalk. She gasped and pivoted sharply to avoid falling and her eyes locked onto the McDonald's she'd ignored earlier. With no conscious thought she hurried over to the door and entered the air-conditioned sanctuary, managing to ignore the sudden and overwhelming smell of fried food. She continued to retreat deeper into the building until half her body was hidden by the condiment bar and she narrowed her eyes as she watched for the cruiser to go by. A few people were looking at her oddly but she ignored the attention from both patrons and employees, focusing on what was happening on the other side of those wall-length windows.

The police car drove by at the same speed as all the other vehicles on the road. Nicole's eyes snapped to the rear quarter of the car and scanned the unit number cautiously, running over the number 1041. Her muscles relaxed and if the condiment bar hadn't been there to support her she would have slumped to the floor like a nervous wreck.

_You knew it wasn't going to be him, _she accused herself, _Haywood is out of his district. _It hadn't stopped her panic, though.

Suddenly remembering she was in a very public place, Nicole turned around and tried not to notice how the staff all averted their eyes and pretended to be busy. Digging a ten out of her pocket, she approached the counter and ordered a cheeseburger, sure her stomach would be hating her later. At the moment, though, it gurgled happily, pleased that it would be digesting something soon.

She took her burger and sat at an empty table away from the windows, staring at the yellow paper the sandwich was wrapped in. Seeing the cop car had shaken something deep within her, something she wished would just go away. People weren't supposed to be afraid of law enforcement, yet she nearly pissed herself at the sight of a stupid car. Nicole angrily ripped the paper from the cheeseburger and took a vicious bite, hating how it seemingly melted in her mouth.

With all her angry chewing Nicole's teeth clamped down on the inside of her cheek and she squeaked in pain. Her hand came up and she ruefully rubbed the sore skin, allowing her fingers to travel up and gently probe at the bruise. It hurt when she messed with it too much but over all it looked worse than it actually was. She guessed the bruise would be gone in about a week and a half, maybe two, and the cut around the same time. It certainly wasn't one of his hardest punches.

Richard Bell had never been a violent man. Her father had joined law enforcement because he wanted to stop the crime and acts of abuse in their city. Nicole's early memories were of her dad taking her to the park and pushing her on the swings and calming her down after the plastic seat had gone too high and caused one too many butterflies to flutter in her stomach. He'd taught her how to ride a bike and tie her shoes, how to skate and swim and jump from the highest diving board at the public pool down the street from their old house, the only place Nicole had been able to call home. He'd helped her do her homework and made her practice her spelling and handwriting-

"_Daddy," she groaned, folding her arms on the table and resting her head on them, "I wanna go outside. Jenny wants me to play!"_

"_How do you spell 'special'?" He asked from the kitchen, turning around and looking at her for a moment. Nicole frowned._

"_S-p-e-s-h-i, wait, no… s-p-e-c-i-a-l." She looked up expectantly. "Can I go play?" _

_Her dad took a long drink from a glass of water and set it down on the counter, walking over to his daughter and flipping to a fresh page in her notebook. "Write it down."_

_Nicole rolled her eyes but copied the word down carelessly. He pursed his lips, _

"_Little Bell, I know you can write it better than that."_

_She whined, "Jenny is waiting-"_

"_She can wait for a few more minutes. Write it again."_

_Sighing, she did as she was told, making sure each letter was neat and easily readable before looking up for approval._

_Her dad nodded and smiled, "Very good. Now write it in cursive."_

"_Daddy!" _

"_Last thing, I promise. Then you can go outside."_

_Nicole set the tip of the pencil down on the paper and carefully began to write the word. The lines were squiggly and sloppy and the tip of her tongue protruded from the corner of her mouth as she tried to concentrate. Out of the corner of her eye she caught her dad smiling at her and glowed a little on the inside, glad she was making him happy. "There," she announced, "I did it. Can I-"_

"_Yes, yes, you can go outside," he laughed. He ran his fingers through her hair and gave her a peck on the forehead before she could jump down from the chair and take off out the door. "Keep away from the street and stay in the backyard unless an adult is with you!" he called after her._

_Nicole looked back from where she stood in the doorway and smiled, "Kay! I love you daddy!"_

That had been before Victoria died.

The cheeseburger felt odd in her mouth. She swallowed it passed the lump in her throat stared apprehensively at the rest of the sandwich. Nicole forced herself to eat it despite having lost her appetite, not knowing when she'd next get the chance to eat. It sort of scared her.

Nicole's eyes wandered to the windows and her mind began to drift. She hated Tennessee. There was nothing wrong with the state itself- the people were nice and so was the weather, but she hated it nonetheless. She'd lived in Indiana until she was thirteen, when her dad decided he couldn't stand being in _that house _anymore and dragged both her and Jessie down to the Volunteer State. She'd known only pain and sadness there and wished more than anything they could have stayed in their old house up in Muncie. She felt that things would have been at least a little easier if she could have dealt with it at home. Instead she'd been yanked out of everything she cared about and taken to a place she never wanted to go and forced to deal with everything on her own. God knew her father wasn't there for her anymore.

Nicole wasn't completely ungrateful, though. While the move had upset her entire life, Jessie had only been two when it happened. Her dad had already been abus- _hurting _her for a year when they moved and her greatest fear was that he'd get mad at Jessie for crying or something and hurt her. It had been Nicole's job to take care of her baby sister for a while after mom passed away, but all that changed after the Tennessee Transition. Her father had turned into the perfect dad for little Jessie, feeding her and changing her diaper like a good parent while his ire for Nicole grew to greater lengths. Jessie became his pride and joy, his everything, the last gift Victoria gave him before the cancer stopped her heart. He loved her more than he loved himself, Nicole was sure.

As long as Jessie was safe, it didn't matter what happened to her.

Nicole blinked out of her stupor and finished off the last cold bite of her food. She sort of wished she had something to drink, but didn't really feel like talking to the employees again. They already thought she was weird; she didn't need to draw any more attention to herself.

She _hated _it. She didn't want to have to be afraid of her own shadow anymore, but as long as she was nearby she'd have to watch every police car, every TV, every person walking the streets. He'd probably put a missing persons report out on her (as a police officer with a missing daughter it would certainly be expected) so anyone could recognize her. Staying in Haywood County wasn't an option.

Nicole wearily put her head down on the semi-clean red and yellow table. She just wanted to go _home._

Her head shot up as suddenly as she'd out it down. Nicole scrambled for her bag and fumbled with the zipper, running her fingers along the inside of the bag, searching for the hidden pocket. Upon finding it she undid the clasp and pulled out a wad of cash, looking carefully around before pulling it out and hiding it in her lap. She counted the bills twice and came to the conclusion that she had six hundred and thirteen dollars with her. That was enough for an airline ticket, right?

An almost hysterical laugh bubbled out of her mouth and she quickly stifled it in case someone was watching her. What all did she need to buy a plane ticket, anyway? Passport? She had hers with her even if she didn't need it. Proof of I.D.? Check. Money, she had. What else? Was that all? She hoped she didn't need her birth certificate. She had her social security card, if that meant anything, and oh God, if she had what she needed, she'd be going home!

Nicole jumped up and threw her wrapper in the trash and nearly forgot her bag resting under the table. She grabbed it with a self amused chuckle and exited the fast food joint, probably to the relief of everyone else. Her chuckle evolved into a full blown laugh as she realized how she must have looked, storming into a McDonald's and watching a cop from behind a counter with a duffel bag in hand, only to pull out a wad of cash later. Those poor people must have thought she robbed a bank or something, particularly with the way her face was bruised!

Her heart fluttered behind her ribs but instead of fear it was happiness that set it off. A little smile grew on her face as she quickly walked down the street, thinking, _Mama, I'm coming home._

* * *

AN: This chapter was basically to establish a little smidge of background for Nicole and answer some questions a few readers had. There's been an overall positive response to the rewrite and I'm hoping it'll stay that way :)

In case you're wondering, the journal entries will not be a regular thing. I'll only include them when it either spices things up or helps the plot.

Action in the next chapter

Thank you for reading, and please review!

Posted 4/28/13


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